Who is the 80/20 mom?

profile picI’m a new mom to a sweet little boy. I live on the west coast of Canada in Coquitlam, BC (a suburb of Vancouver). Everything that you’ve heard about living here is true-it’s rainy and crazy expensive, but the most beautiful place on earth. I work four days a week in student support at a college, and my son goes to a wonderful daycare that we both love.

I started this blog as a way to sort out my own thoughts about being a mom, and possibly help other parents along the way. Before I had my baby, people told me that nothing can prepare you for being a parent, that it’s the hardest job there is, that I wouldn’t understand until I had kids. I took these comments in stride. Sure, being a parent was probably tough, but I was determined and a hard worker. I listened to the good stories and disregarded the bad. I envisioned parenthood as a golden haze of sweet-smelling baby snuggles and overwhelming love punctuated by the occasional diaper change. I really had no clue.

The first few weeks after my baby was born were the most challenging of my life as I adjusted from “me” to “we”. This tiny little human being was completely dependent on me. I would be his mom every minute of every day for the rest of my life. The thought was more than daunting. It was terrifying.

My baby and I are getting to know each other a little better every day. There are times when being a mom fills me with such a sense of contentment that I can’t imagine my life before him. And there are times when I just want to run away.

Something that has always stuck with me is a line from an episode of Oprah that dealt with the realities of motherhood. I don’t remember anything from the episode except for a short video clip of a harried mother proclaiming, “No one tells you that being a mother SUCKS 80% of the time.”

I completely understand where she was coming from, and on a bad day I might even agree with her. But overall, I think that she had it backwards. 80% of being a parent is wonderful and rewarding and fulfilling. Then there’s the other 20% that I could do without…

I love being a mom. Every day I’m getting better at taking care of my family, being easier on myself, managing my time, and regaining some of my own identity. Through this blog, I’m documenting my learning process for you, for myself, for my family, and for any other parent who feels like they’re re-learning how life works.

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9 thoughts on “Who is the 80/20 mom?

  1. Honestly – Its taken me a long time to get to the 80/20 – before it was 80% NOT LOVING BEING A MOM. 20% I might survive this. Its hard to find yourslef after a baby – but I think the trick to to not try and be the person you were, but concentrate on the person you are becoming. Mothehood changes you, your perspective and your relationships. things will never be the same. As soon as I accepted things for what they were and not the way I wanted (colour co-ordinated and alphabetized) the easier it got. Remember to be KIND TO YOURSELF. It will all fall into place and then to pieces several times (still is for me) Hugs fellow mama xoxox

    • I think that’s what I’m struggling with. I’m trying to fit my old self into my new life. I have to realize that my house is going to be messy and I might not fit into my old clothes, but I’ve also gained so much patience and perspective and I get to spend time with this amazing little person. No one can prepare you, and even once they’re here, you kind of just have to figure it out on your own.

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