The 10 Laws of Babydynamics

I’m relatively new to the mom game, but I’m starting to learn that it comes with some rules. Not rules like, “No TV until after you’ve done your homework”, but a dependable set of laws that always hold true. I’m naming it babydymanics, and here they are:

  1. The amount of energy that your kid has is inversely proportional to the amount of energy that you have. Feeling tired/hungover/sick? Your kid will be bouncing off of the walls. Had a good sleep and a strong cup of coffee? That’s the day that your child will take a three-hour nap.
  2. When changing your baby, no matter where you put the dirty diaper or diaper cream, that is exactly where your baby will put his foot.
  3. Putting a clean outfit on a baby causes a reflux reaction that immediately results in a shower of spit-up all over said outfit. It is impossible to ever have a baby in a perfectly clean outfit under this law.
  4. No matter how many pacifiers or receiving blankets you own, there will never be one within reaching distance when you need it.
  5. If you are running late or need to be somewhere at a certain time, that is when your baby will decide to nap/throw up all over themselves/poop.
  6. There is no limit to the amount of whining that one baby can do in a single day.
  7. Baby clothes and toys will multiply exponentially if left unattended.
  8. The laundry pile will maintain a constant size, no matter how many loads you do.
  9. The amount of entertainment that a baby gets out of a toy is inversely proportional to what you paid for it.
  10. There is no limit to the amount that you will love your baby. Just when you feel like you couldn’t possibly love them any more, your heart opens up a little bit more and you do.

Well, there you have it. My laws of babydynamics. What rules would you add to the list?

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7 thoughts on “The 10 Laws of Babydynamics

  1. Love it – I also think that babies are totally happy to be playing by themselves until they notice that you have stepped into the kitchen to: get water/food/turn off the burning dinner, etc! I can be totally across the room and the babe doesn’t even notice me, but the minute I step away to get something done – WAHHHHHHHHH

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