I’m relatively new to the mom game, but I’m starting to learn that it comes with some rules. Not rules like, “No TV until after you’ve done your homework”, but a dependable set of laws that always hold true. I’m naming it babydymanics, and here they are:
- The amount of energy that your kid has is inversely proportional to the amount of energy that you have. Feeling tired/hungover/sick? Your kid will be bouncing off of the walls. Had a good sleep and a strong cup of coffee? That’s the day that your child will take a three-hour nap.
- When changing your baby, no matter where you put the dirty diaper or diaper cream, that is exactly where your baby will put his foot.
- Putting a clean outfit on a baby causes a reflux reaction that immediately results in a shower of spit-up all over said outfit. It is impossible to ever have a baby in a perfectly clean outfit under this law.
- No matter how many pacifiers or receiving blankets you own, there will never be one within reaching distance when you need it.
- If you are running late or need to be somewhere at a certain time, that is when your baby will decide to nap/throw up all over themselves/poop.
- There is no limit to the amount of whining that one baby can do in a single day.
- Baby clothes and toys will multiply exponentially if left unattended.
- The laundry pile will maintain a constant size, no matter how many loads you do.
- The amount of entertainment that a baby gets out of a toy is inversely proportional to what you paid for it.
- There is no limit to the amount that you will love your baby. Just when you feel like you couldn’t possibly love them any more, your heart opens up a little bit more and you do.
Well, there you have it. My laws of babydynamics. What rules would you add to the list?